Been So Long.

It has been so long since I've posted.  I've started drafting posts about everything from the Philly Half Marathon (my time was 2:20!), to ghosts of Halloweens past, present and future, to nearly punching a kids birthday party magician when he told my six-year-old to "go get his father" in front of a crowd of 80 people. I started to write one on December 20 about the two-year anniversary of Paul's death, one that I wanted to dub "Paul-i-pa-looza" by taking the day and visiting all of the places of significance to Paul and me (our apartments on 73rd and 10th Streets, Sushi Samba, Sloan-Kettering, the condos formerly known as Cedar Tavern.) Time and energy prevented the "palooza" from happening so I kept it simple by going to Eataly, the new Italian food mecca owned and operated by Paul's doppelganger Mario Batali. Oh the incredibly fresh, delicious food (how can they make cauliflower taste that good?  How?) and the "waiter, another please" wine.

After a sobering-up walk and train ride home, I arrived to my family.  My sitter smiling and calming.  My kids in their cozy pajamas.  Homework was done.  Dinner was eaten.  All was ok.  It wasn't exactly a Paul-i-palooza but it felt right.

After Spongebob, books and bedtime, I stayed up until 2 AM making this video of Max and Lucas as a Christmas Card to all of my friends and family.


Happy Holidays 2010 from Amy Hawthorne on Vimeo.

And that felt right too.

My friend and coworker Ellen posted a wonderful holiday story to her blog a few weeks ago in which her young son explained how he sang the song "Minutes" in school.  He was referring to "Seasons of Love" from the musical Rent.  What better holiday song is there, really?  How do you measure a year?  Or 2 years since a loss?  Or 7 years of marriage, cut so abruptly?  Jonathan Larson had the right idea.  Daylights, sunsets and cups of coffee don't cut it.  Measure it in love.  Thanks again for that reminder, Ellen.  And thanks to all of you for reading.